


Distance and time

by apathyinreverie



Series: Tripping over tombstones [6]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Post-Canon, Siblings, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-10 21:41:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18416414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apathyinreverie/pseuds/apathyinreverie
Summary: Traveling back in time to flee the apocalypse means that Five had to leave Dolores - his only companion for several decades, his source of comfort in a post-apocalyptic world - behind. And the only one who seems to get just what thatmeans, is his eccentric, ghost-seeing, war veteran, seemingly always so carefree brother Klaus. And Ben of course.Neither of which surprises Five in the least.





	Distance and time

To Five, his family is everything.

Honestly, if the apocalypse hadn't also meant the death of his siblings - meant they'd be dead at thirty, dead before their time, dead so much younger than Five himself was - he probably wouldn't have cared nearly as much about saving the world.

Because he and Dolores had been safe from the apocalypse with the Commission and that would have probably been enough for him.

But.

By the time the Handler appeared to offer him her deal, Five had already lived through several decades of being on his own, traveling a dead, post-apocalyptic world with only Dolores as company. And through those years, the only good, happy, carefree memories to recall had been those few years with his family before his less-than-brilliant idea to skip through time.

In a world where everything had been dead, his family had been his dream of better times, his source of strength that let him make it through all those years on his own in a desolate, lonely wasteland. His siblings had been his unattainable utopia and on some days Five had missed them so fiercely it quite literally took his breath away.

And then the Commission had come along and unwittingly offered him a chance to get _back_ to them. And of course, Five took it. It hadn't even really been a question. If there was even the slightest chance of having his siblings back, a chance to save them, then screw the apocalypse, screw the Commission, screw the entire fucking world if need be.

What was becoming a mercenary for a couple of decades compared to being given a chance to figure out how to get back to his family?

Sure, Five knows his moral compass is pretty fucked up these days. But considering what he has been through - getting stuck as a child in the post-apocalypse, being on his own without a single other human being for decades and then becoming an assassin for another few decades on top of that - he thinks he managed to actually stay impressively sane.

And stopping the apocalypse should make up for working as a temporal assassin for a bit, right? Saving the world counts for something, right?

Although, even if it doesn't, saving his siblings is still entirely worth it in his eyes.

So, yes, Five had joined the Commission, killed as ordered without asking why, did exactly as he was told for years, just so he could use every moment of free time he managed to weasel away to calculate and theorize and figure out how to get back to his siblings at a point in time where he still had a chance to save the world and thus also his family.

And he _succeeded_. He actually made it back to a point in time before the apocalypse, a point in time where his siblings are still alive.

His siblings who are also nothing like Five actually remembered them.

Which is unsurprising and even a bit of a relief to be entirely honest, if only because it makes them so much more interesting than the rather two-dimensional characters his memory had turned them into over the years, pushing aside their worst qualities in favor of remembering only the good things about them.

Like Luther, who Five had remembered as the strong, calm leader, always sure of himself, always having a plan.

These days, Luther is still their unchallenged leader and it is a role he fills quite well whenever there is a mission, an imminent catastrophe, or even the apocalypse going down, just as long as there is something to work towards. But outside of missions, Luther promptly turns into an absolute man-child, emotionally immature, insecure and rather desperate for approval. A leader when needed and a child when given the chance.

Then there is Allison, who Five had remembered as being the most self-assured sibling,  always cheerful, looking out for everyone, trying to keep the balance. So beautiful, so popular, so absolutely used to getting what she wanted.

And she still tries to keep the balance between them, but these days Allison also has absolutely no trust in herself, in her decision-making, in her ability to deny herself what she wants. She is the only one of them who has ever truly abused her power for personal gain and as a consequence she is now so very afraid of doing something wrong, of doing something that might hurt someone else, that she tends to practically paralyze herself with self-doubt. Allison still cares so much, but she barely dares to do anything about it, always second-guessing herself and so easily deterred by any sort of criticism.

But where Allison went from absolutely self-assured to insecure, Diego went in the opposite direction. Five had remembered Number Two as the quiet and shy, even if impressively tenacious sibling.

These days, Diego's tenacity has turned into pure bullheadedness, an uncompromising need to train any of his real and perceived weaknesses out of himself. Well, he's also a momma’s boy to an almost ludicrous degree and absolutely helpless against his need to protect those of their family who he deems too weak to protect themselves. They all know that Number Two would absolutely walk through fire for every single one of them. Sure, he'd complain about it all the way but he wouldn't even consider leaving a single one of them behind. Diego who hates following orders - especially if they come from someone he perceives to be weaker than himself - but could never be the leader if only because he would be entirely incapable of making the hard choices.

Then there is Vanya, their supposedly ordinary sister who Five remembered for always being so incredibly compassionate.

But even before she discovered - or rather, re-discovered - her powers, Vanya had always been caught somewhere between her extreme compassion and her just-as-extreme wrath. Because Vanya is mellow and agreeable and easily pushed aside, simply because she absolutely hates fighting, tries to avoid conflict at all cost. But she also has an immutable threshold and once you cross that, she would rather rip the world apart than give you another inch. Quite literally so, it seems. So in all honesty, Vanya hasn't really changed all that much in the time Five was gone. It's just that _now_ , she also has powers, making her wrath far more fearsome than it had been before.

Which is similar for Klaus, his by far most colorful, most eccentric, most interesting siblings. Klaus who Five remembered being kind and soft and empathic and so so fragile and who hasn't really changed that much either, just having gotten better at covering his soft spots, even if he chooses to hide them in plain sight, clearly having learned the value of wearing masks, hiding himself away beneath layers and layers of rather colorful, distracting armor.

Number Four who is so very fragile, so easily taken advantage of, certainly the softest amongst them. Klaus who seems to almost dance through life, always giving the impression of joyful carelessness, but who takes absolute care to never harm anyone aside from himself. The sibling you can always ask for help and who will always come running, who would drop everything else in favor of helping one of them, who loves them all so much - uncompromisingly, self-sacrificingly. There is nothing in this world Klaus wouldn't do for any of them.

Klaus who is also the only one of his siblings who cared enough to follow after Five when he was still searching for the owner of that eye right after he came back to save the world, who then called in Luther as reinforcements, assuming that Five wouldn't even consider listening to him.

Klaus who had danced with Dolores in the back of the truck, the only one of his siblings who ever treated Dolores like she was just as real as any other person around.

His brother who went to war and loved and lost and still came back to them to help save the world, came back to his siblings. Just like Five did.

Klaus who is too weak to resist the call of the drugs but so much stronger than any of them could hope to be whenever he faces the very real horrors lying in wait for him in every shadow, in every corner.

So, as soft as Klaus may be and as carefree as he may appear to others, to Five he is the one sibling who he doesn't feel like he has to worry about, who he doesn't have to coddle. Because even if Klaus ever truly falls apart, life has already taught his brother very effectively how to put himself back together again.

It's similar with Ben, Number Six, the Horror, the brother who died less than two years after Five's own disappearance, the one who he had remembered as the gentlest of his siblings. Ben who died young but who is able to find humor in absolutely everything, far more than anyone else Five has ever met.

Ben who might still be gentle, absolutely even-tempered, centered, almost serene in temperament under most circumstances. But like the proverbial dragon, it is best not to poke him, lest you be confronted by the incomprehensibly destructive powers of the monsters lurking within him, buried only skin-deep in his chest.

Because Ben might be more mature than any other of his siblings but he also only does extremes and while he might be _able_ to adapt to anything thrown at him, he also simply doesn't _do_ compromises. And who also holds grudges like no other. Especially regarding any infractions committed against their brother Klaus.

Because Five sees the way Ben watches the rest of them, sees how he always seems to position himself between Luther and Klaus - there seems to be some history there that Five isn't aware of - and sees how whenever Diego makes an offhand, derisive comment about Klaus' previous junkie ways revenge is swift to follow. Like that one time Ben 'accidentally' makes Diego run headfirst into a closed door barely a minute after such a comment.

Five sees.

And he also sees Ben watch him right back.

Ben who is quiet, unobtrusive, happy to fade into the background. And from there he watches, observes.

Maybe it's from having been a ghost for several years without any contact to the world of the living aside from one of his brothers, having nothing to occupy himself with except for watching and assessing everyone around him. Assessing how much of a threat they are to his brother.

And Five doesn't have the first clue what being dead and coming back to life is like, but he can at least relate quite well to going from one extreme to another - going from being entirely on your own with only one other person for company for years and suddenly finding yourself surrounded again, bombarded by impressions and other people suddenly thinking they can demand things of you or that they have any sort of idea how your previous existence might have changed you.

Yes, Five certainly gets that.

Now if only Ben would stop eyeing Five as though he did something to personally offend him, that would be great. Ben has been watching Five like that - has actually been watching _all_ of them like that, with the notable exception of Klaus of course - ever since they got back to the past. Like he is just waiting for a reason, for a chance, for an excuse to explode in their faces.

And Five doesn't know what exactly Ben is holding a grudge over, but he is entirely certain that there _is_ something. Goes to reason that he did something to Klaus that Ben doesn't approve of.

Although, for the life of him Five can't think of anything he might have done.

But then again, his people skills were never the greatest and certainly didn't improve by spending a few decades in a lonely, desolate wasteland or by becoming an assassin.

Because Five knows that he isn't any better than his siblings, that he is just as messed up, just as much a host of contradictions within himself. Five practically lives off his own convictions. Once he makes up his mind, there is nothing he will let get into his way, nothing he will let change his mind and he always reaches his goal no matter what might stand in his way and no matter what sort of sacrifices he might have to make. But he also knows that in his convictions, he is embarrassingly easy to manipulate. Dangle what he wants in front of him and he’ll do whatever you want to get it. Sure, he might stab you in the back afterwards, once he has it in his hands, but still.

Point is, they are all more than a little crazy, all screwed up, emotionally stunted, ridiculously stubborn. None of which is helped by the fact that they are all now stuck in their child bodies and in the past.

But Five loves them all, loves them for their worst qualities, loves Luther for his insecurity despite being their leader, loves Diego for his soft spot for anyone weaker than himself despite his conviction that weakness is inacceptable, loves Allison for her careful nature born from her own previous absolute carelessness, loves Klaus for his fragility that hides his uncompromising strength, loves Ben for his ability to laugh at the most serious of situations despite his maturity, loves Vanya for the uncontrollable wrath she carries within herself despite feeling compassion for every living creature on earth.

Five loves them dearly, as much as they annoy him on a good day. He would do anything for them.

He has already proven just that, by literally stopping the end of the world to protect them.

And now, they are all kids again, once more stuck under Reginald Hargreeves' roof, training as superheroes, going on missions. Only this time also trying to help Vanya to control her powers.

But the _important_ thing is, that Five is here and so are his siblings. _All_ of them.

His only regret about traveling back so far into the past is that there hadn't been any time to go pick up Dolores, that he had to leave her behind. Sure, they had broken up beforehand, but he would never have left her behind in the apocalypse if he had any sort of choice, if the world hadn't already been ending around them and time was truly of the essence.

Dolores who had been his only companion, his only source of comfort through decades of loneliness and absolute isolation. And, yes, Five knows that she is a mannequin, that she is an inanimate object, he _knows_. But that doesn't change the fact that to him she is the most lively being on this entire planet, before or after the apocalypse.

So now, Five has his siblings back. But in exchange, he lost Dolores.

It's a choice he was never prepared to make. And while he doesn't necessarily regret it, sometimes his siblings' presence just doesn't suffice to make up for the almost physical feeling of loss that overtakes him whenever he thinks of Dolores. The same way he used to miss his siblings while stuck in that post-apocalyptic world.

And the only person who truly seems to _get_ it, seems to get that Five lost something truly important to him, is actually Klaus. Klaus who hadn't ever scoffed at Dolores' presence at all, but also hadn't tried to placate Five by pretending to see what Five sees. Klaus had simply treated her like she was just as present, just as real as any other person around. Simply because to Five, she _was_.

Well, if there is one person on earth who would get seeing things that no one else can, then it's definitely Klaus.

And he is sure, that if other people were to try and draw parallels between them, they'd consider Ben to be Klaus' Dolores - Ben being invisible to everyone else, but entirely real to Klaus - and while that may be true enough, Klaus is also just as much Ben's Dolores. Because for years, Klaus was Ben's only anchor to reality, his only companion in a place with no one else around to talk to, despite being able to observe everything going on around him.

The parallels are actually a little freaky if Five is entirely honest.

And even now, Ben and Klaus are inseparable, the two of them pretty much always together, tending to have entire discussions with a single glance. Ben simply never leaves Klaus' side. At least not for any extended amount of time.

At this point, they've almost become a single entity in Five's mind.

 _BenandKlaus_. _KlausandBen_. Inseparable.

Just like _FiveandDolores_ , _DoloresandFive_ used to be.

So, it's not actually all that surprising that his two brothers notice just how desperately Five misses Dolores on some days.

But as gentle as he may be, Ben still isn't the warm and fuzzy kind. That's Klaus' thing as much as his brother tries to present a hardened shell to the world.

So, when about three months after they've traveled back to the past, Klaus just wanders up to him in the study one day, unceremoniously dropping a silk handkerchief on top of the book on advanced quantum mechanics Five is currently trying to read - a handkerchief made of white silk with black polka dots, in the exact same pattern as Dolores blouse used to be - only to then promptly wander off again while chattering at Ben about something, Five can admit that this is exactly the kind of thing, Klaus would do. Give him something that acknowledges his loss, something to let Five remember the good days spent with someone so near and dear to his heart.

And when Five starts wearing blazers with a breast pocket just so he can wear the handkerchief that reminds him of his longtime companion as a pocket square, neither Ben nor Klaus so much as comment.

Five knows that Klaus gets it, knows that Klaus gets what it's like to have irrevocably lost someone.

Because he sees how Klaus still sometimes reaches up for the dog tags that aren't there any longer - the dog tags of a man Klaus will likely never meet this time around, the dog tags that didn't make the trip through time with them - and sees the grief that flits through his brother's eyes every time his fingers are met with nothing.

And Five doesn't like owing people.

Which is the only reason why he goes digging through army records, to find out the fate of a certain man named Dave based on age and place and the number of Klaus' unit which was once tattoed on his brother's arm.

And so what if - when Dave turns out to have been killed in action in Vietnam - Five starts searching for the place where the military keeps the dog tags of deceased soldiers? And so what if Five then uses his powers to break into a government institution to steal a certain set of dog tags?

It's not because he's sentimental or because he wants to return the favor of giving Klaus something to remember a person loved and irrevocably lost by.

And if the pure joy mixed with melancholy in Klaus' eyes when he sees the dog tags mirrors exactly what Five is feeling every time he runs his fingers over the fabric of his new pocket square _that_ has nothing to do with it either. Nor does Five's relief when Ben finally stops eyeing him so very suspiciously whenever Five comes within a few steps of Klaus, getting Dave's dog tags back apparently making up for whatever infraction Five had committed against Klaus at an earlier point in time.

No, the only reason Five does it, is because he doesn't like owing people. That's the sole reason Five spent weeks researching and then broke into a government institution to get Klaus his dog tags back.

Really, it is.

**Author's Note:**

> Huh, this started out as something else entirely and I'm really not sure how it turned into this instead... And even though it's not so much about Ben and Klaus specifically, I still decided to include it because, well, why not?
> 
> Also, I couldn't find where the military keeps the dog tags of deceased soldiers (or whether they even keep them at all) except that they apparently belong to the government and not the next of kin. So, I'm just claiming creative license for this XD
> 
> Would love to know what you think (*^^*)


End file.
